How to Trust The Timing of Your Life
We grow up with a fixed idea of what the timing of life should look like. You go to school, then university/college and then have some fun travelling, settle down with the perfect partner, get into a career you love, buy a house with a white picket fence, and have 2.4 kids and live happily ever after.
But let’s face it, life rarely happens that way. Not in 2026 anyway. We have options to live our lives differently. We’re more aware of red flags and patterns in relationships and have the agency to leave. The same with our work, we may have different interests that evolve over time, and many careers. Even around families many people are choosing to have children at different times in their lives including many women starting a family in their forties, or people meeting the true loves of their lives in their 70’s.
I mean this is just a short list, but our lives are wild, complex and ever evolving. Life can throw us curve balls, we can outgrow certain places, relationships or careers - and this is NOT wrong. I guess I’m just trying to say that everyone’s lives are unique and different. When we think about the timing of our lives it’s so easy to get into comparison with other people and then beat ourselves up.
I wish I figured this out earlier
Almost everyone I see in sessions often says something like “I wish I figured this out earlier!” or something to that effect. They are often referring to either a pattern about themselves, or relationships. Maybe a decision they took longer to take then they wanted to. Or looking back on their younger self and how life would have been different if they embodied this wisdom then. I get this so much. But you know what, we have to go through certain things in life to earn that wisdom. It’s then not borrowed advice, or just information. It’s something we earned and know own.
When we are younger we are in a different phase of life and maybe didn’t want to hear certain advice or we weren’t ready for it - aka it wasn’t our journey.
Ego Versus Soul Journey Timing
One of my first spiritual teachers said life for our ego is about trying to accumulate things or have a ‘perfect life’. Life for our soul is about learning through experiences and creating wisdom that is ours forever even when we leave this earthly plane. WISDOM is your gold, it’s hard earnt, and even if some wisdom you learn later, it’s still yours to keep (if you choose or you can through it way and keep making the same mistakes!).
When you think of Earth as a ‘school’ and we are here to learn. It matters less WHEN you learn the lesson in your life, but that you do learn it at some point. Easier said than done. I don’t want to spiritually bypass the grief of what we thought our life was going to look like if it didn’t turn out that way.
Astrology and Timing
This is where astrology becomes such a powerful tool, because it shows us in real terms that the timing of our lives was never meant to look the same. Everyone has different transits and our transits are set from birth. We still of course have free will over how we respond to said transits (I mean just look at twins! the chart is potentials not all fixed fate at all!). But there are some twists and turns in life that we didn’t necessarily plan and sometimes that can relate to our transits. Looking back in retrospect I can see how some big transits aligned with my first overseas travels, my marriage, career changes, my divorce from my first husband. I’ve not led a very ‘normal’ life of what I described above. I’ve have lived many lives in one, all around the world. And sometimes I’ve loved that, and other times I’ve questioned it. But when I look back and see my transits I really kind of feel that everything is unfolding as it should be….
Outer Planet Transits and the Timing of Your Life
As you start to learn more about astrology you hear about Saturn Return and maybe even things like Jupiter Return or the Mid Life Transits. These either happen at a certain age (like the first Saturn Return is always 28-30 years old) or other transits like the Pluto Square or Chiron Square change a lot for each generation - but still you go through those transits at the same time the people born in your year do.
BUT… then there are outer planet transits that are more individual ie. when the outer planets aspect your Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars or Venus (the faster moving planets that are more personal in your chart), and also the angles like the AC, MC, IC, DC which are also very personal to you.
If Pluto squares your Sun when you're in your twenties that’s going to impact you in a big way. Many people will NEVER have Pluto Square their Sun as it’s such a slow moving planet. Same if Neptune goes over your AC or Moon it will impact you deeply in a different way. And those points are very personal so that transit is way more individual timing for you.
All the outer planet transits, to our natal inner planets and angels are HUGE. These are are really life transforming transits, and they don't happen at the same time for everyone. So that's where it is harder to compare your life to someone else's, because you're going through some of these really big transits at different times. These bigger transits are when we can even have those moments where we learnt a really big lesson and say ‘gosh I wish I knew that earlier!’ But we were maybe meant to learn it at exactly that time, and coming into an acceptance, and even go as far as gratitude that you have learnt something deeply (and maybe at 40 instead of 80!). It’s all about perspective really.
This is where you can come into a trust the timing of your life that you were born with this birth chart, with all of the transits predetermined, and that certain big shifts were gonna happen at certain times for you.
If we take a quick look at a Pluto transit for example it’s definitely one that can change us in a big way: it can feel like addressing power imbalances, self empowerment, dismantling of things we've been attached to that are not meant for us, a shedding of skin, or ego death of certain parts of us. It can be challenging, but also forge and redefine us in totally new ways. We don't have any control about, when it's gonna happen or how it's gonna happen, but we just have to trust that that is a really pivotal and important part of our life.
Even if it feels really hard for the human aspect or the ego aspect as it probably will, that there is a much deeper gift in the growing that comes from that. In the Pluto example, Pluto represents the underworld, what lies beneath the surface deep down in the dark of the earth. In this realm there are the earth’s valuables - gold and gems. Diamonds are formed here under pressure. That's the same for a Pluto transit.
This is just one example of many different bigger transits that do impact us at different times, in everyone's life. AND the most important caveat is still the free will of how someone showed up during the transit as to what lessons are learned and earned.
Impossible to Compare your Chart and your Life To Anyone Else’s
So it's really, really, really hard to compare your life to anyone else's or to think that you had to have everything figured out when you were twenty. Because we do grow and change throughout life, and things that felt right for us, things that felt aligned for us when we were twenty, whether that was a relationship, a person, or place might not feel aligned for us when we're thirty or forty or fifty. Does that mean we made a mistake? No. Does that mean that we weren’t aligned when we made the decision. No. It just means that things have changed for us, and we have to readapt, which does require a lot of courage and a lot of bravery.
So in many ways was the dream of the beautiful getting married, the white picket fence, 2.4 kids is great and beautiful, and it does align that way for many, many people.
If it doesn't align for you, it might mean that you've taken a more courageous soul path where there does have to be bigger decisions made at certain times, and not seeing that as a disadvantage, but seeing the advantages in that every life path is gonna have pros and cons. Not every life path is equal. It's just the way things are. Some people are born rich. Some people are born poor, and all the other different disparities that we can face, but it's looking at your own life, your own transits, and really trusting the timing of your life.
Diving Deeper Into The Timing Of Your Life
If you are interested in looking at your own chart and timing of your life through astrology you can certainly do that a few ways with me.
I offer Astrology Readings where we can take a look at what’s happening in your life right now and explore your current transits in relation to your birth chart.
If you want to go deeper and look more into your past and future I do 6 session Astrological Mentoring where I combine Astrology with Compassionate Inquiry and we can look at your past transits and progressions and more into the future to really explore and make sense of your growth points.
Or if you’re really hooked into astrology you can learn Astrology with me and start to apply this kind of point of view to your own chart in my Astrology Immersion.
